★☆☆☆☆

I was going to give this movie two stars, but I just can’t. Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is an epic fail. It had every reason to succeed and yet it failed. It failed __exactly__ the same way Kingsman: The Golden Circle failed. Some twelve year old thought it would be funny to have non-stop profanity in a movie.

Honestly, not giving a good review to a movie that had Morgan Freeman in it pains me to no end, but this movie is 2 hours of your life you will never get back.

I think the other epic fail here is Ryan Reynolds. He always plays the same stupid character and it simply doesn’t work. Maybe it works for twelve year olds, but it doesn’t work for adults. That would explain the relentless profanity because twelve year olds who are just starting to curse think that is unbelievably funny. It’s not.

Honestly, I love Morgan Freeman in movies. Really really like Samuel L. Jackson. I own a copy of Once Upon a Time in Mexico because that is one fantastic movie, possibly Antonio Banderas best work. It even had Salma Hayek in it and they had fantastic chemistry.

How this movie managed to fail will be the subject of film making textbooks for years to come.

For more movie rental ideas please see list one and list two.