The Lighter Side of Trump’s Treason

Jamie Foxx image

Trump’s Treason has become obvious to pretty much every ardent Trump supporter who isn’t already headed to prison. Yes you hear Rand Paul and Lindsey Graham doubling down on their Trump support, trying to justify yet another coup attempt, but they are already headed to prison for their roles in the last coup attempt and other deeds. The only way they can keep out of prison is with a pardon from Trump and he cannot pardon anyone from behind bars.

Adam Kinzinger said it best.

When you look at some of the president’s biggest, kind of, cheerleaders — Marjorie Taylor Greene, Jim Jordan — have gone kind of silent, that tells you all you need to know, too.

Adam Kinzinger

When a nutter like Greene is jumping ship you know the rats have identified that it is sinking. Everybody seems to have forgotten that the courts have already ruled Trump broke the law holding up Ukraine aid.

Request of Legitimate Media

Before we go too far into this, I have a request of legitimate media. Not Fox KG used-to-Be, Newsmax, or One American Nutter, but legitimate media.

Stop reading TRUTH Social!

The thing, like soooo many of Donald Trump’s projects, is bankrupt. Nobody that matters gives a rat’s ass what Donald Trump spouts on there. That’s exactly why it is going bankrupt. Facebook, Twitter, and other cancerous social media sites get rich when they are flooded with entertaining imbeciles who post stupid shit. There’s currently a never ending stream of imbeciles who purchase imbecile phones

imbecile phone
An imbecile phone

turn them on, watch their IQ plummet, then walk out into traffic because they cannot look up from the imbecile phone. These imbeciles go to cancerous social media sites like Facebook, and Twitter where they can view large quantities of imbeciles saying and doing things so stupid it makes them still seem intelligent. They won’t leave to follow one imbecile to a platform that really only has one Uber stupid individual. These imbeciles need large scale re-enforcement.

TRUTH Social, like Trump’s Taj Mahal, is bankrupt. Just quit reading it and quoting from it so it goes out of business sooner. Social media is human poison.

Other People Have Had Some Fun With This

Quite a few others have had fun with Donald Trump’s march toward prison.

Yesterday parody
Great 70s tune parody

Jamie Foxx has gotten a lot of press lately.

Jamie Foxx Trump impression

Time to Try My Hand

I guess it is time to let my writer’s mind run wild and try my hand at a Trump Treason skit. If Jamie Foxx or Saturday Night Live want to use this, they may. Just give me a tiny shout-out some place. It might even be really hilarious if Jamie Foxx hooked up with Seth MacFarlane to make an animation out of this. I don’t know who they will get to voice the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammed bin Salman.

TrumpHey Mo, Donald Trump here. I have a business proposition for you and hope you will do the right thing.
MohammedGood morning Mr. Former President. Always good to discuss business with you.
TrumpDo you have to rub that shit in? The election was stolen I tell you! You should have helped me more with lower gas prices and by buying more agriculture products.
MohammedIt is not in the interest of Saudi Arabia to interfere with the elections of our allies.
TrumpYou better (*&)(*&ing believe it will be in your interest when some fisherman hooks a hunk of that reporter’s body and reels it in. When the DNA matches you will damned well want me back in the White house.
MohammedBe that as it may Mr. Former President, there is really little chance of that happening so what did you call about?
TrumpI think we should form a new Golf league. We can call it LIV, that’s L I V Golf. People tell me it’s the Roman Numeral for 54 and the score you would have if you birdied every hole on a par-72 course.
MohammedBirdieing holes on a golf course is something you would know nothing about Mr. Former President.
TrumpAre you going to listen to me or criticize my shitty golf game?
MohammedI’m listening Mr. Former President. You want Saudi Arabia to create and fund a new golf league that only plays at your golf courses. I assume you mean the courses in dire financial condition should have the most events.
TrumpWell two of them, yes. Will you stop criticizing my shitty business practices and hear me out on this? That’s fake news about my properties in financial trouble. Fake news I tell ya. You don’t have to actually fund the golf league and it can play at a few courses other than mine, but at least two of mine will get tournaments.
MohammedSo what is it you need me to do?
TrumpForm the league and launder the money. Not just any golf league. We will give the winning player millions. The biggest most famous names in golf will flock to our new league.
MohammedLaunder the money . . .?
TrumpYeah, about that part. My supporters are great. They have big empty heads that I can fill with whatever bullshit I wish to spew. They helped me stuff classified documents in boxes with old magazines and newspapers. Seriously? Who ^)(*&)(*ing moves and packs old magazines and newspapers? That’s what you use to pad dishes and other fragile shit.
Anyway, I’ve got dozens of boxes with highly classified information hidden away in them. We’ve got Staples delivering 40 boxes of copier paper per week and nobody even asks why.
MohammedSeriously? Nobody asks why you need that much copier paper?
TrumpWe had a )(*&)(*&)(ing pandemic! Had to go to single use menus. I tell you the pandemic has been great cover for some really profitable shit.
Anyway, creating the league will give me cover for flying to meet you and your people at various locations. Once you’ve negotiated a price for a document I can deliver it to your people and sign it with my Sharpie right in front of them.
MohammedSo you want me to peddle this stuff as well as launder the money, correct?
TrumpWell, not you personally, but someone you trust. The buyers can simply “donate” to your Sovereign Wealth Fund. You can keep some of it for yourself. We will use some of it to fund LIV. The fund can even invest in some things, potentially new Realestate developments.
MohammedSo what do you have to sell and what do you expect the fund to invest in first?
TrumpWell a lot of it is TS-SCI stuff. I don’t really know what is in it because I don’t read. I have people to do that. It’s like sources that feed us good intelligence, nuclear secrets, etc. As long as nobody takes my passports I can deliver a new one each week. Just stuff it in my luggage. The Secret Service isn’t going to let anyone go through my bag.
MohammedAnd the first investment should be?
TrumpYou know Jared? He’s been a good son to me. He just formed an investment business. I think the first two billion dollars should be invested there. You can get a return on investment and he can get his company up and running. It’s a win-win! I’m sure he’ll do a great job managing the fund for you. He can even invest in energy stocks and you can tell him which way the price of crude is going to go.
MohammedYou really think what you have is worth that much?
TrumpTen times that much! Hell a hundred times that much! They’ve been spending trillions of dollars on bribes trying to get this information and I walked right out of the White house with it. Most of this stuff is permanent. It’s not like nuclear launch codes that can be changed in minutes. A source is a source. A nuclear secret is a nuclear secret. It has to do with science of physics or some shit like that. It’s not like they could quickly change any of this. I had people shopping for this like grocery pickers at Kroger. It’s everything they ever wanted and some of the things they didn’t know they needed.
MohammedAnd your take will just be the revenue from the golf tournaments?
TrumpWell, not exactly. Periodically I will need you to put a few million into each of the accounts I’m texting you. Just don’t put a lot in that last account. The Russian Oligarchs who funded my buildings set that account up for me. It’s at the same bank. I don’t think I will be able to take much out.
MohammedLike the builders who actually built your buildings, they want to finally get paid.
TrumpWhy do you always have to bring up my shitty construction practices? I like slave labor. Since that isn’t legal here I use illegal aliens and don’t pay them. It’s beautiful. They can’t take me to court without getting deported!
MohammedAnd they build everything as well as that wall of yours that fell over.
TrumpWhy do you always gotta bring up my shitty construction? Thank your lucky stars you were never in the Taj Mahal. I can’t believe that place didn’t fall down. Thank God someone tore it down before a catastrophe could be linked to me.
So what do ya say?
I think this LIV Golf league will be the perfect cover for selling classified documents and laundering the money. You can never have too much money.
MohammedEspecially when you are in debt to Russian Oligarchs who have personal armies.
The skit

Jamie, if you need to tweak it a bit, that’s fine. This is just the way it rolled off my fingers. No proof reading what-so-ever. I think you and Seth should team up for an animated version of this. Like I said, just give me a shout-out somewhere. Doesn’t even have to be a big somewhere. This is one of those things that “has to be done” so I won’t ask for money.

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