90 Days in Jail

I was tempted to call this post

Are All Apple Customers Assholes or Just the Ones Which Go To Restaurants?

This happened again at lunch today. As a traveling consultant I eat out quite a bit. It is a hazard of the occupation. As such I’m constantly exposed to the largest assholes in the universe. I didn’t write this post until 7pm, more than 6 hours after lunch and I’m still honked off. I guess I should be thankful it was only one this time.

We really need a Federal law. If you are recorded via cell phone video or police body camera (with sound) using a speaker phone in a restaurant you go directly to jail for 90 days. No lawyering up or paying some little fine. It would be ideal if we could also force sterilization at that point but I’m certain there will be some not-for-profit that would challenge a much needed skimming of the gene pool.

I have been into restaurants where it is more than one. Oh, and if they have the speaker on, the volume has one setting, pegged. Just try eating a meal in peace. Of course the ultimate crime is when they set the phone down on the table and dial someone for a speakerphone conversation.

There I was, at a Chinese buffet place. It was early so there weren’t a dozen people yet. A loud ringtone pierces the calm, they pull out their Asshole-7 (or whatever the number is now), plop it on the table and start yacking loudly.

I mean it is bad enough when people use their cell phone without going outside. Most try to keep a polite and quite volume to their conversation so it is no worse than any other conversation in the place, but there is always that deaf person who refuses to admit they need a hearing aid who has to have their volume pegged on the phone and talk loud enough to be heard 3 blocks away, but most try to be polite. A good many will even try to get up and either go outside or at least to the lobby.

There is no excuse what-so-ever for using your speakerphone in a restaurant! None! You are just an asshole.

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