One thing is certainly true when it comes to both farts and stories about farts, they are meant to be shared, just not always in the manner which first came to your mind. I have two stories about the very young son of a friend of mine. They happened several years apart but are best served together.
Daddy Farted
My friend is the kind of guy who got older without really growing up. Yes, he got married and raised a family, but he never really grew up. Oh, you all know someone like that so don’t roll your eyes, just keep that comment in mind as your read.
He and his family were living somewhere up in Wisconsin when I went to visit them for a few days. His son was somewhere in the pre-school to 1st grade age range at the time. Like many of today’s houses, there was hardwood all over the place. He and I were drinking some wine in the kitchen talking of this and that while his wife was in the living room with another lady discussing whatever committee thing that was coming up. At some point my friend went downstairs to fetch another bottle and I was left alone in the kitchen. Seizing the moment I decided to get a bit of relief. Bad decision. Never heard anything echo that bad. The chattering from the living room died and the only sound in the entire house was the kitchen refrigerator. Into the pregnant pause I heard his son pipe up in the living room, “Daddy farted.”
Could not have worked out better if I had planned it. When my friend got back to the kitchen there wasn’t any tell tale signs to give it away. Whoever that woman was she probably still thinks it was him. It truly is better to give than receive. Yes, I told he and his wife about it the next morning, but I let him take the blame all night.
Brain Mouth Disconnect Syndrome
Not too many years after that his wife and son were back here visiting the parents of my friend. I was invited over. Hadn’t seen his parents in a while. I had been friends with this guy since high school so they know me pretty well and we had an enjoyable time sitting around chatting in the kitchen. Odd how both of these stories take place in the kitchen, I just noticed that.
At one point his son made a big show of trying to belch and fart at the same time. You remember what I told you about not really growing up, right? Well, the kid comes by it naturally. Well after a few minutes of trying he almost pulled it off then was disappointed the timing wasn’t perfect. He kept telling us “that would have been so funny.”
I’ve never understood the brain mouth disconnect syndrome. We all suffer from it at some point in our life. I seem to suffer from it on a regular basis. You know? When your mouth says stuff and your brain doesn’t even know the mouth is moving. This particular suffering had me blurting out “Not nearly as funny as you finding out that was not a fart.”
