★★★☆☆

The Crimes of Grindelwald attempts to set up a multi-part story exploring the deep dark secrets of the powerful Dumbledore family. I actually own a copy, but don’t read too much into that. I honestly don’t know what possessed me to purchase a copy from the discount rack. Most likely it had to do with all of the “wife beater” stories floating around at the time. I assumed it would be Johnny Depp’s last movie. Silly me, he won a court case here in America against Amber Heard. That’s because it used to be legal to beat your wife and in Arkansas and a few other places, it apparently still is.

Well, there is always the freak show known as Texas too. Just be certain you don’t own a set of Encyclopedia Britannica! Lest we forget that famous scene from The Boondock Saints.

It has its moments

The script writers and producers seem to have forgotten story and focused on special effects. There were some fun brief sub-stories. Jacob giving Newt advice on wooing a woman, or at least what not to say. The immortal alchemist with bones so brittle and fragile he cannot shake hands without pain. If you are a parent and the kids drag you to this you aren’t going to feel an excruciating loss of time sitting through The Crimes of Grindelwald.

Here’s a hint to the film industry. Your big special effects don’t work on a small screen. They don’t have the shock and awe you went for with the theater audience.

Summary

If you are watching this in the home rental or streaming market and you don’t have your own personal theater with 65 inches or more for a screen, the wow factor isn’t there. If you spent $50K putting in your own theater room with proper sloping for acoustics you will probably enjoy this more. Don’t forget the double layer of sound deadening insulation to keep the dishwasher, HVAC, and washing machine from droning on through.

Johnny Depp really did add to the specter of The Crimes of Gindelwald. Despite is drug and booze fueled on-set behavior that was making news long before the court cases, he could still act. I’ve watched it three times and I don’t really have plans to watch it again. Unless you are in a full theater setting it doesn’t have a big re-watchable factor.

You really should give quality actors enough story to work with.

For more movie rental ideas please see list one and list two.