Featured image by Bruno /Germany from Pixabay

Just like clockwork Stretch’s new burner phone rang. It was Pepboys. He spoke with them briefly then handed the phone to me saying his friend knew more about his car than he did.

Hello.”

Hello sir. This repair your friend booked”

It is twelve book hours of labor for the quick struts so you will need the car for a couple of days. I know. We have touristy things to do. We are on a buddies still being guys road trip and I don’t want to end up dead in the desert. He had the biggest car and said it was in good shape. If you are only driving a couple of blocks in New York every day, it is in fine shape. For hundreds of miles at a time on the Interstate it needs quite a bit of work.”

Are you sure the struts are shot?” asked the service rep.

I used to own quite a few Avalons. I used to be married. Do the math” I responded.

He laughed “Okay, I can understand that.”

You read the part about using the radio to determine which coil on plug is bad, correct?”

I see that. It was a very specific instruction” he responded.

It’s the only reliable method. Those things go half bad for a long time, only way to find it is with an NPR radio station tuned in, removing one coil at a time. When the annoying tick tick tick goes away, you’ve found the right one. Could be more than one as that tick was too loud and too frequent. Easy enough to check while replacing the plugs though.”

What do you have for ultra high performance all weather tires for it?” I asked.

We have a set of Continentals” responded the sales rep.

Don’t want nothing from the exploding Firestone family. Do you carry the Yokohama?”

Yes, we have those, but, the cost is $280 per tire” he responded.

Those are what we will go with. Make sure the quick-struts are Monroe because those are the real OEM. Don’t want a store brand. As long as the plugs are Iridium, I don’t care what brand.”

I had turned the speaker phone on right after starting the conversation. The guys could all hear this conversation.

You’re pretty free with his money” said the rep only half joking.

We are on a guys being guys see the country road trip checking quite a few entries off the bucket list. Most guys get married and their life is over. They keep wanting to do a trip like this and their spousal unit keeps nagging and threatening and guilting them about the kids. In short, they are dead the day they get married. We all have a new lease on life and our bucket list will be empty when this trip is over. Don’t worry, we are all chipping in and you noticed I put this on speaker. I’m the only one who knows a lot about cars. Cabin air filter, engine air filter and check the condition of the trans fluid while you are at it. This thing will race like the wind and roll like new in a couple of days. Per the appointment he will drop it off around 2pm.”

Very good sir, we will see you then.”

I hung up and handed the phone back. “You really are a car geek” said Slim.

No. I choose to know a lot about a few tools because I use these tools to do my job. You might have taken slight at my disposable razor comment, but that is exactly what they are making now. None of the new mechanics know how to do their own logistics. You show up and they had you an ID kit along with plane tickets, cover and cash. There is a shiny new rental waiting for you so all you have to know about a car is how to put gas in.”

When I started, none of that existed. We had to do it all ourselves. The fewer people who knew about a job, the better. Once we were dispatched they didn’t hear from us until the job was done. This made us dangerous. We developed our own networks. A few struck out on their own briefly. In order to make us more controllable they started providing services, such as cleaning and logistics. You stopped carrying and stashing spare go-bags. I bet most of the new recruits know nothing about the topic of a go-bag other than it having a shaving kit and few changes of clothes.”

Admit it. When we got the text on the company phones your instinct was to just go get the rental as ordered, right?”

Begrudgingly they nodded agreement.

We would all be dead by now. Henry might even be dead by now which will leave a few questions unanswered, but, little I can do about him.

I found the coin shop. According to the map it is a one mile walk” Giant piped up.

Nice thinking Giant” I responded. The other two just looked at me.

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