Featured image by Bruno /Germany from Pixabay

The legal way to move the money without it being directly traceable, at least it used to be legal and probably still is, close the account you cannot touch directly without leaving fingerprints. Request stock certificates for all of your existing shares. Walk those shares over to an intermediary who has agreed to purchase them for some price and take the money. I had heard they were closing that loophole down though so you might want to check into it. I’ve heard most companies won’t issue paper certs anymore. Makes it too hard to identify shareholders during a proxy vote. Also made stock splits almost impossible, especially reverse splits. People moved and never thought to notify the transfer agent. You _should_ be able to identify which companies still issue certificates, sell all of your holdings and put every penny in that stock, then request the certificate and close the account. That certificate will be traceable so you need to find someone to buy the entire thing if you don’t want the company finding out where the money really went. Expect a heavy discount fee of at least twenty percent.”

So much?” asked Slim.

Probably more, assuming you can find anyone willing to actually do it. Oh, you can just transfer the shares to another account or deposit the cert directly into another account, if your broker will accept certs, but, the company knows where it went.”

So the short answer is, I’m going to lose a lot of it no matter what?” asked Giant.

No. You can keep it all if you don’t mind the company being able to trace where it went. If you can find a diamond exchange willing to take the risk, and you can get the brokerage account to issue a certified cashiers check for the entire amount after you liquidate your positions, you can take that check in and buy approximately that many dollars worth of non-tagged diamonds and slowly scatter them to safe locations around the world. You might have to fashion some into jewelry and take a lady with you to slip them out of the country. If you remember Kim Kardashian had roughly $10 million in jewelry stolen from her in a hotel. Once money is in precious stones or fine art, it’s pretty easy to move around the world. Why do you think those paintings sell for so much at auction? Easiest method of laundering money. Quickly clean $170 million in cash by purchasing one painting. Of course you need to find somebody looking to clean at least $170 million to unload it on, or you are stuck with it, but that is a different story for a different time. I see we are stopping for gas.”

Cold caffeine tasted good after stretching our legs. Everyone seemed to grab some munchies too. Part of me wondered if they were all bulking up before starving around Henry. Slim opted to drive so Stretch could nap. Giant picked up a burner idiot phone. He was busy charging it as we pulled away from the station.

For the love of God” I started. “please tell me you aren’t going to use that phone or anything else to access the brokerage account you are so worried about.”

It’s a burner” Giant said.

It’s still GPS traceable and you are the only one interested in that account which the company tightly monitors” Slim stated. “They can identify the cell tower and coverage radius. You wait until this is over to try and get your money.”

I’ll buy you a flip phone to use for this mission and you can keep that phone turned off in the trunk” I stated. “Once we get to the storage lockup we will have plenty of operational funds.

Speaking of operational funds, what do you see this operation being?” asked Stretch.

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