- Broken things never fixed. Examples: the shower curtain – it’s one of those curved-out kind, but it’s been pulled down and the mounts in the sheetrock ripped out of the walls. What’s going to happen when I take a shower? The soap shelf in the fiberglass shower insert is smashed off, the interior wall exposed. Gouges in faux wood furniture.
- Color theme: No joke. Lime green, Buddhist orange and several shades of black. Three random, non-matching, non-related Garden Ridge surplus pictures on the wall. Carpet is utterly hideous, like something from Grendel’s lair. Antique gold-finished lamps and fixtures.
- No coffee machine in the room. Ok, I can live without.
- Floor tile in the bathroom shows that the room is actually a trapezoid.
- The desk and chair, which I use every time I have to travel: uncomfortable, not really made to sit and do work. Vinyl. Sharp edges. Undersized.
- Slow unsecured wifi internet. Am I sharing this wide open, 9600-baud internet connection with the trailer homes across the street?
- Hallway smells like a blend of bleach and asparagus pee.
- Ever tried drinking bourbon from a styrofoam cup?
- Clock radio from 1974
- Continental breakfast of Fruit Loops, bruised bananas, and bagels. Froufrou coffee.
- Toilet paper made of recycled Ethiopian burlap
[This post is from a personal blog written at a time when I traveled for work on a shoestring budget]
Lol and hilarious. Thanks, Jeff. Nice to see you here.
Ollie
LOL, I’ve actually lived through most of this. The last corporate housing unit I stayed in, which I actually liked, even had some of this. It had a bathfitter tub over tub which looked nice from a distance yet I nearly broke my neck getting out of the first half dozen times until I learned to lean forward and place my hand on the sink counter. I had heard horror stories about bathfitter type tubs/showers before, mostly I thought they were made up. Nooooo. Previous tenant must have had a larger learning curve because the curved shower curtain rod had been ripped out many times. I could see all of the spackle and other cheap attempts at “fixing” it. In their defense there was a new curved shower rod in the closet, just nothing left in the wall to mount it too.
The closet in the master bedroom used to get this nasty smell every few days. I went through an entire tube of Carpet Fresh and most of a bottle of Frebreeze One dousing the carpet every week or so. It was a cross between a chemical smell, like new carpet had been put on top of 50+ year old foam padding and really stale Indian food spices. If I left the air set at 78 degrees and was gone for a few days the entire place reeked like that.
I had to buy my own bedding set because the one provided had the stuffing coming out of the comforter and we won’t talk about the sheets.
Oh yeah, the bed frame already was the source of a post on here.
http://www.interestingauthors.com/blog/experience/if-i-ever-end-up-in-prison-i-know-this-will-be-the-reason/