{"id":867,"date":"2017-08-27T00:12:46","date_gmt":"2017-08-27T06:12:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.interestingauthors.com\/blog\/?p=867"},"modified":"2017-08-31T12:08:15","modified_gmt":"2017-08-31T18:08:15","slug":"the-fart-stories-chapter-2-the-real-reason-to-own-a-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/interestingauthors.com\/blog\/humor\/the-fart-stories-chapter-2-the-real-reason-to-own-a-dog\/","title":{"rendered":"The Fart Stories – Chapter 3 – The Real Reason to Own a Dog"},"content":{"rendered":"

Parents everywhere will tell you the reason they got a dog was to teach their kid responsibility. Given the rise of single child homes I imagine a great many of them say they wanted their child to have someone to play with. I mean, what could be more American than a boy and his dog, right? Okay, in Los Angeles, for some strange reason, it is a boy and his band, but just ignore that.<\/p>\n

Yes, a dog\u2019s love is true. They will always be there for you no matter what happens. A cat would have to check it\u2019s schedule to see if it is convenient to be there for you, but a dog always is. They are willing to take the blame for things they didn\u2019t do and even the most timid of dogs can drive away people you don\u2019t like.<\/p>\n

Admit it, some of you stumbled on that last sentence. Some of you are stretching your brain to understand how a timid dog can drive away people you don\u2019t like. Well, to you I say, you never really owned a dog and you didn\u2019t read the title of this grouping.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right. Depending on the breed it can be a once in a while thing or can emit more greenhouse gases than an entire feedlot full of cattle. If your mutt or pure bred is of Boston Terrier lineage, you know what I mean<\/a>. According to some lists, they aren\u2019t even in the top 5<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Back when people actually had pagers, there were DOS and Windows based programs you could load on your computer and tell to page you at a certain time. People got wise to that in a hurry. They also got wise to self dialing programs. Neither of those tricks really saved you if relatives you didn\u2019t like came over for an annual visit. The dog can though. Just make sure the dog gets a lot of table scraps mere hours before the unwanted horde descends and keep the dog by you at all times. Yes, you\u2019ll have to smell it, but, you should be used to it at this point. Your unwanted visitors won\u2019t be.<\/p>\n

Thank you man\u2019s best friend.<\/p>\n

Oh, for those of you who didn’t figure out the “take the blame for something they didn’t do” line, just give it time, you’ll work it out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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