Experience - Finance

U.S. Bank – Worst Customer Service in the World

I hope you never get forced to do business with U.S. Bank. I got forced there by Kroger and I’m seriously thinking about changing my shopping habits. I need to research what bank handles Meijer‘s rewards credit card because U.S. Bank is looking up at trash hoping to one day be that good.

Human Beings Do Not Text

The red flag of a company using off-shore labor for their Web site is when it ASS-U-MEs everybody receives text. No. Intelligent human beings have text messaging disabled on our phones. You-all are getting spammed by political contribution and election messages right now, intelligent humans are not. It’s easy, you call your carrier and have them disable texting on your plan. There is a federal law. They have to let you disable text messaging for your account. The government will soon lock text messaging down even further. Don Jr. will have to have a piece of paper signed and dated by you before he can send you a text message asking for money to help is criminal father stay out of prison.

If you are going to use this half-assed two-phase authentication then you must have a functioning email server and allow verification that way. Not only do elderly people have the biggest accounts at your bank, they still have land lines.

Intelligent People Do Not Have Imbecile Phones

Photo by Tomasz Kulesa on Pexels.com

I realize that, with Donald Trump leading in the polls, one might ASS-U-ME everybody in America is an imbecile so they must have an imbecile phone. No. The “i” stands for imbecile and intelligent people do not have them. We didn’t pay $1250 for $225 worth of parts, imbeciles did, but we didn’t.

The secret to having a life is to have a phone you only use to make phone calls.

We don’t waste our lives on those worthless social media sites. We don’t carry a phone around that the Chinese government can use to spy on us and those around us without us knowing they ever got in the phone, our phones don’t load “apps.”

Keep in mind that I have spent near 40 years in IT. For the past decade I’ve been writing embedded systems for medical devices. Chances are high that when you get rushed to ER the patient monitor they hook up to you for vitals checking/tracking will be one I helped create.

I don’t and won’t have an imbecile phone. While the toothbrush bot-net story will be debated for years, phone bot-nets are not. Who the (*&)(*& needs a “smart” toothbrush anyway? Just an old plastic stick is fine.

No, an App is Not Sufficient

The biggest red flag of all is when customer service does not have an email address or a live chat. That is a company definitely using all the Indians it can find and doesn’t care if they’ve ever been to school. If you don’t have an imbecile phone to install “the app” your one and only method of contacting customer support is to call the automated insult line.

There They Hang Up On You

I shit you not. The off-shore team decided they would allow for sending of a 6-digit verification code to my primary email address. All well and good. Nobody is monitoring the outbound email server. It has been down for over 2 hours.

Wanting to cash in my rewards and being rather pissed about such low-end IT being deployed by a multi-billion dollar bank, I called to report. Fighting your way through you get to a human. They transfer you to another human who is supposedly in the correct department.

“Can you give me your Social Security Number?”

“No! This is not an account problem. Your outbound email server used for authentication is down.”


U.S Bank: off-shore IT labor and shit service for one and all


Roland Hughes is the president of Logikal Solutions, a business applications consulting firm specializing in OpenVMS platforms and Qt on Linux. Hughes serves as a lead consultant with over two decades of experience using computers and operating systems. With a degree in Computer Information Systems, the author's experience is focused on systems across a variety of diverse industries including heavy equipment manufacturing, pharmaceuticals, stock exchanges, tax accounting, and hardware value-added resellers, to name a few. Working throughout these industries has strengthened the author's unique skill set and given him a broad perspective on the role and value of technology in industry.

Leave a Reply