Featured image by Bruno /Germany from Pixabay

This is the third time in the past month Henry brought us to a shit-hole. You guessed it, the other two times didn’t go any better. The customary rule for a team is the person who did the last job chooses the entertainment and accommodations until the next job starts. Henry did the last job, not alone, but for the most part.

At least the next three minutes will be consumed by the guy’s wife trying to get off her bar stools. I thought she was only using two, but now that she is in the process of rising I see it was three. That middle one must have … nah … I haven’t eaten yet and that isn’t an image I want in my head just before a meal.

Good thing nobody has caught onto the fact Henry came in with me. Knuckle busting is the primary form of entertainment here. The guy isn’t being that loud, but everyone has stopped what they were doing and is watching with a gleam in their eye. If anyone here puts it together there will be three guys quietly slipping up behind me.

You think it’s an assumption? I get paid to analyze things like this. You’ve already forgotten about the choice of beverage containers here: plastic cup or a can, no glass of any kind. If that didn’t spell it out for you, the fact the crowd got quiet with a gleam in their eye when there was even a hint of an altercation should have spelled it out for you with sidewalk chalk. Pay attention in life, for it is the little things that keep you alive.

Shouldn’t be difficult putting us together though. We are the only two guys in this place with shirts having sleeves of any length. If this place was more accurately named it would be called “The Unwashed Armpit” instead of “Hank’s Ranch House”. No, I haven’t been to the bathroom yet and I was hoping to get out of here without having to go. Unlike most of you, I know exactly what will be waiting for me when I walk into that fine fine room.

This situation wouldn’t be so bad if Henry hadn’t gotten to choose the accommodations. We are at the roach trap a block and a half from here. We walked. The cameras in that place aren’t for security. Neither is the deadbolt on the press board door. The inhabitants of this establishment will be more than willing to walk that far just to continue a fight, and this isn’t the kind of neighborhood regular people consider walking at any time of day.

I should just get up and leave now. I should also check into a hotel of my own choosing. We don’t “have” to be together until the text message arrives. I know this will sound weird, given my occupation, but I never learned to fight. Members of my organization aren’t burdened with a desire to kick the shit out of someone. It takes too much time to disarm and take someone prisoner. Perhaps now you will believe me when I tell you we aren’t cops.

At this point, there are many ways this situation can go down, few of them good. I could easily kill those three guys without a weapon, but there are at least 50 people in here and they are all watching the show. Besides, this is the kind of place that has the police department on speed dial. It’s also the kind of place cops swing by when they’ve only got an hour left on their shift and want to spend it doing paperwork back at the station. I haven’t seen them come in yet tonight, but it is too early for a shift change. I told you, I get paid to notice these things. Noticing these things keeps me alive and I can only get paid if I’m alive.

So far no need for me to get involved. The husband and wife are going at it and keeping the crowd entertained. She’s hurling the napkins in his face that Henry had been writing on earlier. Ah, now the screaming starts. Yep, nothing but recipes. Henry hadn’t been talking with her long enough to give her a disposable cell phone number. Henry is also not smart enough to slither past them unnoticed while they demonstrate wedded bliss. No, Henry is still intent on sleeping with this woman. It isn’t beer goggles making him do this, he’s still on his first round.

You see, I told you, it took me six months to figure it out, but I know why we are here. In a place like this, Henry rises above the crowd. The rumors about Henry were true; for the most part. The bigger, the better. If a woman can’t sit down in the wrong place and total a GEO Metro, Henry isn’t interested. I have no desire to find out if the darkest rumor about Henry is true. Why don’t you just think back through to the description of Henry’s size, the kind of women he likes, and just let your mind come up with something about being reborn. I’m not going to repeat that story here. I told you, I haven’t eaten yet.

Just lovely, the crowd is egging them on now. Fuckin’ Henry! Just get up and walk out! What part about low profile do you not understand!!!

continued…

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